


Give me your confession

by bluesapphic



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 06:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14764743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesapphic/pseuds/bluesapphic
Summary: Bram asks Simon about how he got outed.





	Give me your confession

They were sitting on a picnic blanket in an empty park, soaking in the sun, enjoying each other’s company, when Bram decided to broach the subject.

“Simon,” Bram murmured, playing with Simon’s fingertips.

“Hmm?”

“How did you get outed to the universe?”

“Oh, um, the Tumblr post on creeksecrets.”

“Yeah, you told me that. But how did that happen?”

Simon sighed and rested his head on Bram’s shoulder. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t hate me.”

“Why would I hate you?”

“Because it was kind of my fault and you could have been outed, too. And I didn’t tell you before and I probably should have.”

Bram kissed the top of Simon’s head. “None of this was your fault.”

“I haven’t even told you what happened, you can’t know that already.”

Bram bit his lip. “Simon, if you don’t want to tell me, it’s okay. I don’t really need to know.”

“No, no. I’ll tell you.” Simon took in a deep, shaky breath. “So, I know I should have been more careful. You were always so careful. Still are.” Simon paused there to turn and press a kiss to Bram’s jaw. “But I hated waiting to get home and read your emails. And you can’t use data in school and there is no Wi-Fi. So, every once in a while, I used the school library computers to check my email. And this one particular time, mid-October, I guess I forgot to logout of Gmail before logging out of the computer. And, um, Martin. Martin freaking Addison. That absolute monkey’s asshole. He used the computer after me and found the emails.”

“Oh.” Bram thought about it for a second. “But we weren’t using our real names. How did he know they were your emails?”

“I think he must have seen me sitting there. Anyway, he found me during rehearsals that day and told me he had screenshots and that if I didn’t try to set him up with Abby, he’d out me.”

“What did you say?”

“What could I say? I had to say yes. He was blackmailing me. And you, too. I was so afraid if he posted those emails, you’d leave me forever. I was afraid that if I told you, you would be upset with me for being so careless. And I couldn’t let Martin leak the emails, because then you’d stop talking to me,” Simon looked miserable as he said this. “I’m not proud of it. I did try to avoid him for as long as I could. I waited until he basically cornered me again, the day before Halloween.”

“So you really did help him?”

“Barely. I invited him to Garrett’s party. And then in December I invited him to run lines with Abby and me at the Waffle House. And that kind of happened a few more times.”

“So, it was working.”

“Not really. Abby liked him okay, but she wasn’t into him. And there wasn’t really anything I could do about that. Anyway he asked her out during this full day rehearsal we had at the beginning of winter break and she said no and he was really pissed off and left. And then I guess Christmas Even he decided he’d had enough and he posted that thing on Tumblr. Not the emails, but just a post about how I was gay and available for quote-unquote anal buttsex.”

“Why didn’t he post the emails?”

“He told me later he had deleted them.”

Bram was quiet for a minute, processing. “I can’t believe I thought he was just this funny, weird kid. I would never have expected anything like this from him.”

“I didn’t either. When he first talked to me about it, I thought he was just telling me that he knew. He was talking to me about his gay brother and how I should be more careful about logging out of my email. And then suddenly, he was blackmailing me.”

Bram wrapped his arms around Simon, pulling him closer. “I’m so sorry, Simon.”

“You know what the most fucked up part of this is? When I was helping him with Abby, I felt so guilty about not helping him more. And sometimes I even felt like we were friends. And then he went and did that, even after I helped him.”

Simon had a few tears streaming down his cheeks now.

Bram rubbed circles into Simon’s back. “I wish you didn’t have to go through that.”

“So, you’re not mad at me?”

“No, of course not.”

“Even though it was pretty much my fault?”

Bram pulled Simon’s head to his chest and pressed a long kiss into Simon’s hair. “Simon, sweetheart, it was not your fault. It was an accident.”

“And you’re not upset that I didn’t tell you?”

“Hindsight is 20/20. Of course looking back, I would want you to tell me, but I understand why you didn’t. You were trying to protect me, protect our relationship. I can’t blame you for that.”

They sat in silence for a little.

“Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“If anything like this happens again, I do want you to tell me. I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right?”

Simon pulled away to give Bram a watery smile. “Yeah, I know. You’re the best boyfriend and I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” Bram leaned in to kiss him, gentle and slow. “Of course you deserve me. You deserve the world.”


End file.
